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Writer's pictureDennis Guyvan, Life Coach
Dec 25, 20203 min read

Feeling Hopeless?

Updated: Aug 2

Have you been feeling powerless lately? Do you feel stuck, defeated, lack motivation, and feel like there is no way out?


I remember when I was 22 years old, and I had a lot of health problems and very low energy levels. I would come back from work being so tired that the only thing I was doing in the evening was staying in the hot tub. Every day I felt so exhausted that at 3 pm I felt like I was ready to go to bed. I have seen multiple doctors, no one knew what was happening. Everything looked normal, they said. So I changed my diet and added exercise but it did not really help.


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So after taking a lot of actions and seeing no results I started feeling hopeless:

  • I started feeling that this problem is who I am. That it is my temperament to have high energy.

  • I felt like health issues are permanent and there is nothing I can do about it.

  • Also, I felt like this problem is taking over all areas of my life: relationships, friendships, family, career, finances, fun, and recreation



I had 3 classic characteristics of a state of powerlessness:

  • took the problem personally,

  • took the problem as permanent,

  • a whole life became a problem


I was lucky to have a friend with whom I shared the situation. He listened to the situation emphatically and offered help. He introduced me to a yoga teacher and nutrition specialist. He gave me another perspective on what might be happening and what to do with that. He gave me another way of looking at the situation and some options on how to heal the body holistically.


In the conversation, I noticed a huge shift.I had my hope back again. There was no hopelessness anymore. After he shared his healing journey and where he was at the beginning I realized my problem is not permanent. I realized that I had a choice and that I am not the problem. I realized that some of my behaviors and habits can be, but not me.


So I got inspired and started to take massive actions and pretty quickly realized that my energy was increasing therefore my relationship, social life, and career went up again. Here I was from hopelessness to being driven, motivated, and alive again.


Remember:

  • You are not your problem.

  • It is not permanent.

  • You can always take your life under control.


What would be the practical ways to make the shift happen?

  • Reach out to a supportive person and brainstorm way on different ways to look at the situation as well as some of the action steps you can take.

  • Find people who have gone through the same obstacles. Get curious about where they were, where they are now, and how they got there.

  • Create a plan. Step-by-step specific measurable plan.

  • Take massive action.

  • Celebrate small milestones along the way.

References:


Peterson, C. (1996). Learned helplessness: Theory for the age of personal control. Oxford University Press.


 

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Dennis Guyvan, a life coach. He provides individual life coaching sessions in Denver and Chicago, and worldwide via video and phone calls. Schedule your free 30-minute coaching consultation with Dennis Guyvan.




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